If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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