Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
