come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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