DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
