she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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