I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
