I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
