Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
