I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
