considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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