after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
