I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
