As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
