Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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