We need to rekindle our bromance
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
