I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
