I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
