he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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