i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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