Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
