he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You smell like a Billy Joel song
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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