no, he came in my armpit
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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