I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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