Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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