I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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