You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
