I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
