Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
