6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
