I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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