His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
