I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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