google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
