Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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