Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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