yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
