they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
