My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
