the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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