You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
