My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
When are your genitals available?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
