u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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