So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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