its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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