I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
