He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
