Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i now understand why vodka
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
