And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
