In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
worst night to have a conscience
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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