I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
